


Countdown

by AshKnight



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-01 15:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14523309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshKnight/pseuds/AshKnight
Summary: The countdown is on.  Emma knows when it will happen.  Then, it does.  She meets her soul mate.  But things quickly get complicated, and she has to make a choice.  Fate, she realizes, has a way of surprising you.  Soul Mate AU.  Swendgame.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hate spoilers and love surprises, but just in case some of you are tempted to tap out mid-story, I want to make it clear that this will be Swendgame.

My eyes are drooping and falling closed as I dance. I haven't done drugs in a long time, so the ecstasy is hitting me hard, making my heart race.

I hadn't meant to take it, really. And I probably shouldn't have. The mark on my wrist warns me that my life is about to change, and I try to ignore it, but it's starting to pulse, and I swear I can feel it burning my skin. I scratch it roughly, dragging my nails over the flesh to distract myself from the burning/itching/whatever it is, until four red lines appear on the pale canvas. I don't look, though.

My hands fall to my best friend's hips, pulling her back as she grinds against me.

"Ruby," I laugh, when she rests her hands on mine and squeezes them, moving her ass harder against my crotch.

I'm suddenly grateful that I'm not a guy, because as much as I hate it, if I was, my hard-on would be pressing into her ass right now. As it is, she doesn't have to know she's making me wet. She'd probably kill me. Then again, she started this.

I've never told Ruby about my clock. I keep it covered, preferring not to share the date and time that fate would bring me to my soul mate with anyone. We never really talk about it. She's never shared her time either. I haven't told her that tonight is supposedly the night. That, even though I'm quickly losing track of time, I know it's coming soon. Any minute now, actually.

My head jerks down, and I pull my hands away, looking down at my wrist, even though my clock is covered with a thick bracelet.

She turns around almost instantly.

"What's the matter?" she asks, a look of concern on her face.

She's drunk, but not high. She agreed to play babysitter tonight to let me trip, since I haven't since before I started my senior year in college. She likes to party pretty much every weekend, so she wasn't upset when I asked her to take a break to do me a solid. I didn't tell her that I was falling back into old habits because of my own fear and terror about what tonight might bring.

I shake my head and pull away from her, turning and pushing myself through the crowd, over towards the bar. The room is spinning, but I make it and manage to order two shots of Crown Royal. I down them quickly, trying my hardest to drown out my nerves. When I look down at my wrist though, pulling the bracelet back to check the countdown, my heart thumps hard in my chest, nearly seizing up as I read the display.

_1:02. 1:01. 1:00. 0:59._

I think I'm going to throw up, but I don't. Instead, I quickly order another shot. But when I turn around, tiny glass in hand, I slam directly into two girls and the alcohol splashes over the sides. Some of it spills on both of them, and my mouth drops. I'm horrified. Embarrassed. Terrified.

And they're both gorgeous.

"What the fuck is your problem?" one of them snaps. "God."

The other one looks at me sympathetically as I mutter a sincere, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, love. Just an accident," she says.

The older girl is still glaring at me, unrelenting.

"Just get out of the way," she hisses.

I can tell I'm blushing, but when I look over at the younger brunette, my green eyes locking with her bright blue ones, she offers up a gentle smile and touches my arm.

"Here," she starts. "Let me order you another drink."

"What?!" the older one growls. "She just-"

"Regina. It was an accident."

"Whatever. Just get this clumsy klutz out of my face before I slap her."

Still smiling, the blue-eyed beauty gently pulls me toward the bar, but when she sees me stumbling drunkenly behind her, she turns to me and says, "Maybe I shouldn't get you another drink."

"I'm fine," I slur, forcing myself to smile.

She can tell it's fake, but she's still smiling anyway as she wipes the small amount of liquid off her collarbone. God, she's gorgeous. Then, I remember my clock and look down. The numbers are red now, instead of blue.

0:00.

My stomach drops as I look back up at the woman in front of me, who is standing a little too close. But this… She's…

I try to clear my head, try to shake free of the fog in my mind, but the drugs are making me restless, and I can't be still. Suddenly, I want to turn and run. I know I can't, though. At least, not from her. The clock doesn't lie.

It's surreal, thinking I've finally met my soul mate. All I can think is,  _She's perfect._ And she is. Her dark hair and bright eyes make my heart sputter.

Just when I think I'm going to pass out, she asks, "Do you want to dance?" I don't respond – I'm too high to think straight; I took too much – so she adds, "Can you, even? Maybe you should sit."

I shake my head vigorously and gather enough courage to reach out for her hand. Again, she smiles at me, and I find myself smiling back. Then, I scan the room for Ruby, who I find grinding on some random guy we don't know. I laugh and shake my head, then turn my blurry gaze back to the woman in front of me, who is still holding my hand.

"I'm Belle," she tells me.

"Emma."

I hate that I look the way I do right now: a hot, sweaty mess. I've been dancing hard for the past two hours, but I'm not exhausted yet. Not even tired, really. I'm still eager to move my body, and it doesn't help that hers is so fucking alluring. When I turn my head to glance around again, I notice the girl's friend – Regina, apparently – glaring at us. I roll my eyes and look back at Belle again.

"Don't be shy," she says softly, but loud enough for me to hear over the music, her breath warm on my ear. "Come here."

I let her pull me closer, until our hips are almost touching. Almost. The swaying of her hips is intoxicating. She's so graceful, her movements controlled, but natural and smooth at the same time. We dance like that for a while. I'm scared to touch her, but she puts her hands on my waist, and that's it. It's all over for me.

I'm sure I'm in love then, staring back at her as I fall into her eyes.

When she says, "I know you're high," my muscles tense, and I start to panic.

What if-

Then, she asks, "How's the trip?"

My mouth falls open, a little shocked that she seems fine with the fact that I'm tripping.

"You can't think straight, can you?" Belle giggles, sliding her hands up my sides and finally pressing her hips against mine.

She sways them a few times, teasing me, until I shake my head in confirmation of what she'd asked. She's right. I'm in a daze, and all I can feel is the rush flowing through my body, pushing me closer to her, even though I'm terrified. Finally, I brave my next move, and I rest my hands on her hips.

The beat of the music changes, and she seems to like it, as she's getting closer to me with every note that plays heavily through the speakers in the club. Just as she starts to turn around, my best friend appears beside me.

"Yo. What's up?" she asks, her brow slightly furrowed.

Clearly, she's annoyed.

"I, uh…" I start, fumbling over the words.

I'm still in a fog, and the rush of the ecstasy is still pumping through me, making me care less and less about everything around me and more and more about the pressure of Belle's hips against mine. I'm finding it hard to give a shit that she's irritated with me for ditching her, but I decide to try to explain anyway. I'm a nice guy.

"Emma?"

"Um. I, uh… I spilled a drink on her."

"So she decided to fuck you with clothes on, on the dance floor?"

What the fuck? Is she jealous? I mean, I know Ruby likes attention, but really? Besides, Ruby had been doing far more to me than Belle was.

"Ruby, go," I slur.

She rolls her eyes, huffing, "Fine," and walking away to find another toy.

This leaves me to turn my attention back to Belle, and I start wondering what she's thinking. Of course, if my clock was counting down to meeting her, hers must have been the same. Is she disappointed? I don't exactly see myself as attractive. Maybe she's feeling let down. Everyone gets their hopes up that their soul mate will be perfect: attractive, sexy, smart, funny… good in bed. No one gets all of that. No one.

Except, here she is, laughing in front of me as she pulls me closer again.

"What?" I ask, confused by her laughter.

"She's a piece of work," Belle replies. I smile and nod, and she adds, "But she's hot. I can see why you'd be with her."

"What? I'm not… We're not… together. She's just a friend. We've known each other for a long time."

Belle raises an eyebrow and presses her thumbs into my hips. I can't help it; my eyes fall closed as she moves against me, her hips swaying. Like Ruby, she knows exactly how to move to turn me on, and soon, she's turning around, backing her ass against my crotch.

"Fuck," I breathe, not loud enough for her to hear, as I grip her hips and hold her against me.

 _She's perfect,_ I'm thinking, overwhelmed by the rush of the drugs and her body overwhelming me at the same time.

It doesn't take long to break my bliss, though, as Regina walks over to us and announces, "We're leaving."

"Regina," Belle counters firmly. "I'm not-"

"Let's go."

She looks at me and sighs as Regina grabs her hand. When she feels her companion start to tug on her, she jerks away and continues looking at me, making me freeze.

"Can I get your number?"

"What?" I ask dumbly, staring. But what did I expect her to say? If her clock really matched mine – which it had to – then it was really unlikely that she'd let me just walk away. "Sorry. Yeah. Of course."

I'm still stumbling when I walk, but I manage to get back to the bar and ask the bartender for a pen. I hand her a napkin with my number on it and smile.

I almost say something cheesy, like 'Call me,' but I don't. Thankfully, I'm not high enough to blurt out everything I'm thinking. When I look at her friend, she's still glaring at me, but when I look back at Belle, she's smiling. Before she walks away, she leans in and kisses my cheek, saying nothing as she leaves.

It doesn't take long for Ruby to find me sitting at the bar, watching everyone else as I remain in a daze.

"Hey," she says, sitting down next to me. "What was that about? I was waiting for you."

"You were perfectly fine grinding on Mr. Muscles over there."

"Are you jealous or something?"

I shake my head and sigh, lifting my arm and pushing my bracelet up enough to show her my clock.

_0.00._

"Oh. Shit," Ruby says. "Wow."

I nod.

"Her friend was pretty hot too. I shoulda hit that up."

"Oh, my God. Stop," I laugh. "She was a total bitch."

Ruby shrugs and tells me, "You know I like 'em like that."

Ruby hasn't really ever worried about her soul mate. We don't talk about that, but we definitely talk about her one-night stands, and all of her sexual partners. Me, I've never had one. I decided young to wait for my soul mate, figuring that anyone else was a waste of time. Ruby's outlook was to make the best of a boring situation while you can. Have as much fun as you can while you're waiting for your Prince or Princess Charming.

"You got her number, right?"

I shake my head.

"What?!"

"I gave her mine."

"Oh. Alright then. Okay."

"You think she'll call?"

"What?"

"Do you think she'll actually call me?"

"Why wouldn't she, if you're soul mates?"

"I don't know. Maybe my clock's fucked up or something. She's too hot for me."

"You know that never happens. No one's clock is fucked up. It's in your DNA. You're born with it." I pause, so she adds, "She'll call. You're beautiful, Em. Always have been."

My head falls to her shoulder. Thankfully, I'm starting to come down from the high. It's not enough to clear my mind, though. In fact, it makes it worse. Now that I'm thinking more clearly, I'm panicked. What if I mess it up? What if I lose my  _soul mate?_  Ruby senses my panic and kisses my cheek.

"Come on, babe. Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

It takes her four days to call. In the meantime, I'm freaking out.

"She's never going to call me," I tell Ruby on the third day. "Never."

"Oh, my  _God,_ " she groans. "Shut up, will you? It's going to be fine. She'll call. How could she say no to such a hot piece of ass?"

Ruby grabs my ass and squeezes, making me yelp and jump slightly.

"Stop it!" I cry, slapping her hand away. "It's not funny!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

But I can tell she's choking back her classic howling laugh, and it's threatening to break through.

"I'm going to die alone!" I whine.

She loses it and bursts into a fit of laughter.

"RUBY!" I scream, knocking one of the kitchen chairs onto the ground.

She jumps and looks at me seriously.

"Whoa, tiger. Relax."

When I start to cry, my tears hot, angry, and desperate, she moves close and wraps her arms around my torso, holding me tightly against her chest. I cry harder, letting my head rest on her shoulder, and she keeps me there until I stop.

Finally, Belle calls me. I answer on the first ring.

"Hello?" I squeak out, my voice cracking.

I sound like a pre-pubescent boy.

"Hey, Emma. You free tonight?"

"What?" I ask dumbly, like I don't know what she's just said.

It's not registering with me. The sound of her voice is ringing in my ears.

"I asked if you were free tonight. Am I interrupting something?"

"No! No, not at all. Yes, I'm free!"

I sound like a blubbering idiot, and I can feel my face getting hot with embarrassment.

"Good. Dinner?"

I'm dumbfounded. How can she not call for four days and just throw that out there so casually? Oh, wait. She has a life, unlike me. Fuck, I'm a loser. Then, I realize I have plans with Ruby. I don't tell her though, I just try to smile as I reply to her question.

"Sure. Where and when, princess?"

 _Princess?_ I'm thinking. Now I'm some kind of smooth-talking Don Juan? I'm so screwed. I'm going to open my mouth once or spill my drink again and she's going to walk right out on me and never look back.

"Seven-thirty. At that new place on the corner of Main and Pleasant."

"Alright. Great. See you then."

I have no idea what new place she's talking about, so I just go along with it and hope for the best.

As soon as I hang up, I call Ruby.

"Rubes. Rubes, I'm really sorry, but I did a stupid thing."

"Oh?"

"Belle called."

"Yeah?!"

She sounds excited.

"She wanted to have dinner tonight."

"That's great!"

"But we were gonna-"

"Oh! Oh, honey. It's totally fine. Rain check on the movies, okay? We'll go this weekend."

"You're not mad?"

"No, not at all! This is your soul mate we're talking about here!"

"I love you, Ruby."

She can hear the smile and relief in my voice as she replies, "I love you too, Em."

My stomach drops when I pull into the parking lot of the restaurant. It's  _way_ too fancy, and I feel under-dressed, even though I wore my nicest clothes. The feeling of dread grows when she pulls up and parks in the space next to me. She looks gorgeous. As she steps out, I see the subtle curves of her body, and my heart stops.

I stare for a few minutes before getting out of the car, and when I finally do get out, my legs feel like Jell-O. When she catches me staring, a broad smile spreads over her painted lips.

"Hey, there, gorgeous," she says.

My stomach drops again.

"H-Hi," I stutter. "You look lovely."

"Why, thank you, dear. You look quite lovely yourself."

When she takes my arm and leads me to the front door, I blush like a schoolgirl. Once we're seated, I find myself awkwardly not knowing what to say. The silence is heavy, but only for a few moments, before she reaches across the table and releases the tension.

"Don't be nervous," she tells me. "It's just me."

 _It's just me,_ she says. Ha! Just my soul mate. Just the woman I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. No big deal. I swallow hard and try to be brave enough to not break her gaze. I fail quickly and look away, but she turns my face until I'm looking in her eyes again.

"You're really cute, you know," Belle comments, and I'm stunned by her words.

"Oh. I… I'm just-"

"No, really. You're adorable."

Her smile puts me at ease, and slowly, I'm able to relax. Regardless of how much anxiety the atmosphere is causing me, her presence is calming.

We finish our meal, talking quietly, and she even makes me laugh several times.

Back at our cars, we stand next to each other after saying goodnight, but she hesitates.

"Emma?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think… Do you think I could kiss you?"

My eyes widen. This is going so much better than I ever could have imagined.

I stammer a quiet, "P-Please," and she steps closer to me, cupping my face in her hands.

When she kisses me, I shiver. I've never been kissed before, and the sensation is so new and unfamiliar that it shocks me. She breaks the kiss slowly, leaving her hands on my face as she looks into my eyes.

Then, she says, "You're so beautiful." I blush and look away, but she lifts my chin and adds, "Is it too forward to ask you to come home with me?"

 _Oh, my God,_  I'm thinking.  _This is happening._ My heart is palpitating, thudding hard in my ribcage, and I feel like I can't breathe. What do I say?

I only manage to shake my head and squeak out, "I'd love to."

What can it hurt? Sure, it's moving fast, but she's my soul mate, right? How could it go wrong?

I meet her at her place, and as soon as we're inside, she advances on me, kissing me slowly, with soft, tender lips. My legs are Jell-O again, and I suddenly feel the urge to be high. Not because I need to feel it, but because I'm too scared to do this on my own. But here I am, and it's too late now. Not that I don't have pills in my bag, but I don't have a chance to take them, so I just take a slow, shaky breath and close my eyes as she gently pushes me down onto the couch and keeps kissing me.

Soon, we're in her bedroom, and she's on top of me, kissing my neck. My whole body is shaking. I've never felt anything like this, and the sensation of her hands palming my breasts through my shirt is driving me crazy. Now, I do feel high.

"Are you ready?" she whispers, her voice husky and seductive.

I'm not, but I nod.

I get scared when she starts to unbutton my blouse, but she goes slowly, and I resist the urge to run. By the time we're naked and her hips are pressed into mine, I'm breathing hard.

"This your first time, sweetie?" she asks.

I blush and nod, wanting to be honest with her, even though I'm embarrassed. But she smiles and kisses the other side of my neck.

I'm almost coming already by the time she puts her fingers inside me. I pray to whatever gods exist that I won't finish before she does, but it happens anyway, and I moan loudly as she makes me cum. By the end of the night, I'm just glad that I'm able to make her finish too. I'd expected my own complete and utter failure. I mean, I don't know if it's good, but I can hope.

To my surprise, when I move to get up, she wraps her arms around my torso and pulls me back down on the bed, holding me against her and kissing my cheek, saying, "Stay."

So I do.


	3. Chapter 3

We're inseparable after that. We spend every moment with each other. Half the time, she spends the night at my place, and half the time, I spend the night at hers. The only problem with this is her crabby ass best friend and roommate that I met at the club. Regina. What a bitch. She scowls at me every time she sees me, like she's jealous or something. Doesn't she have her own soul mate? I mean, everyone does, right?

This goes on for about two weeks, until finally, I find myself alone with Regina in the kitchen shortly before Belle was due to be home from work. (She'd given me a key to the apartment so I could let myself in.)

"I can hear you guys fucking all night, you know," she says suddenly, her tone sharp as she forcefully breaks the silence.

I avoid looking at her as my face turns hot and red. I know I'm blushing and I can feel it. It's not that I'm ashamed to say I've been having sex with my soul mate. I'm just ashamed to say her roommate's been listening to it. I also feel kind of bad that she'd been subjected to that. I'm sure it's more than awkward.

"Did you hear me?" she snaps.

Finally, I turn around, trying to look stern and serious which at the same time trying to hide my embarrassment.

"And?" I force myself to say, even though I know exactly why that would bother her.

"And it's fucking gross. You moan like a porn star."

"How do you know it's not her moaning like that?" I shoot back, starting to get angry.

"Because I know what she sounds like when she moans."

My heart stops. What a fucking bitch. I want to punch her in the face. I doubt I could take her, and I know Belle would be pissed, so I take two steps back and simply scowl at her. I don't dare to ask how she knows that, but she tells me.

"We used to fuck all the time."

I think I'm gonna be sick. I need to get high. I haven't used drugs since I started seeing Belle, but right now, I need them. I know I wasn't in Belle's life before just recently, but the thought of her fucking someone else makes me nauseous.

"Cat got your tongue?" she taunts.

I'm really close to punching her.

"What, princess? You thought she'd never been with anyone before? Thought she was a virgin?"

"Shut the fuck up," I finally say, having heard enough.

Then, the front door swings open.

When she sees us staring at each other, looking furious, she looks concerned and quickly asks, "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing, dear," Regina croons. "Just telling Emma all about our fun little escapades."

"Oh, my God," Belle breathes, dropping her purse to the floor and hurrying over to my side. "Emma, I-"

She takes my hands, but they're shaking, and I take another step back as I pull them away.

"Don't," I say sternly.

"Wait. Emma, please. I-"

"You could've told me. I wouldn't have cared. But you kept it a secret, and that's  _really_  fucked up."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't know how you'd react, and I didn't want to mess anything up."

"Yeah? Well now we-"

"I hate to interrupt-" Regina interrupts. "But I think she has a right to know."

"Shut up, Regina!" Belle cries.

I'm surprised to hear her voice sounding so harsh. I've never really heard her upset before. I guess it was bound to happen sometime, though.

"Why? Are you ashamed?"

"What?"

"Are you ashamed?"

"This isn't the time or the place for this, Regina."

"I think it is."

"You know what? Just because you're desperate and horny doesn't mean I am."

"Excuse me? You're the one who-"

"ENOUGH!" Belle shouts. "Back off,  _right now._ "

"Whatever. You know I'm right."

"Shut. The fuck. Up."

"Whatever. I'm getting the fuck out of here. You two can go ahead and fuck like animals now."

Before Belle can say anything else, Regina is slamming the door.

She turns to me, looking distraught, but I'm too upset to care.

"Emma," she tries, but I'm not listening.

I back away slowly and turn around, leaning with my elbows on the kitchen counter and my head in my hands. I feel so betrayed, and I can't explain it. Is this really what it's going to be like? For the rest of our lives…?"

"Emma, please."

I ignore her.

"Please, look at me."

I sigh and finally face her, saying coldly, "What?"

"What do you mean 'what?'"

"What do you want? What excuse could you possibly have for not telling me that you fucked your fucking roommate and best friend before me? You  _live_ with her, Belle! How could you let me think-"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just-"

"I can't deal with this right now. I'm leaving."

"Emma, please don't go."

"I'm out, Belle. I'll call you when I stop feeling like I'm gonna fucking barf."

"Em-"

"Oh, and by the way?" I say. "Your best friend is a fucking cunt. But at least she's honest."

I leave and slam the door behind me, just like Regina.

I'm furious. I'm raging. But I call Ruby anyway, because I need to spill my guts right now. I know if I bottle it up, I'll explode.

"Rubes?" I say, my voice shaking with anger.

"Hey, love!" she answers brightly. "What's up? Haven't heard from you in a while."

It's true. I've barely spoken to her since things started with Belle. Suddenly, I feel guilty. I hardly even talk to her, and now I want her to let me vent? God, I'm a shitty person.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Ruby. I'm really sorry. I've been a shit friend lately, and I know it. I just… Some shit went down with Belle, and I really just wanted to talk to someone I trust."

"Alright. What happened, babe?"

"Can we go out tonight? I don't really want to talk about it over the phone."

"Why don't you come over now, and we'll go out after?"

"Alright."

I arrive at her apartment fifteen minutes later, and she throws her arms around me as soon as she opens the door.

"Ruby," I sigh. "This sucks."

"Tell me what happened."

"You remember Regina, right?"

"Well, yeah. Can't forget a sexy bitch like that."

"Belle was fucking her."

"Since you guys have been together?!"

"No. Before that. But… But she hadn't told me. Regina was the one to tell me. And  _God_ was she a bitch about it. But at least she told the truth."

"You're saying Belle didn't tell you?!"

"Yeah. That's what I'm saying."

"Holy shit, man. Like, I know it's not cheating, but they're fucking  _living_ together. They're best friends."

"I know!" I cry, exasperated. "I know."

"I'm so sorry, love," Ruby sighs, stroking my hair.

I can't lie. I love the way her hands feel, how gentle they are. In this moment, I'm more grateful than I've ever been that I have a friend like her. And I'm grateful that she's here for me, even after I've basically ignored her in favor of my new girlfriend.

"I love you, Ruby," I say softly, resting my head on her shoulder.

She holds me closer, and I realize how true the words are. What would I even do without her?

My phone rings. I look down at the screen, see that it's Belle calling, and ignore it.

"It's gonna be alright," Ruby tells me. "I'm sure you'll work things out. She probably just didn't want to hurt you. She didn't want to ruin such a good thing."

"That's a bullshit excuse!" I cry, jerking myself out of her embrace. "If she can't be honest with me, how are we supposed to be together?"

"You'll… It'll be okay. I'm sure you two will-"

"But what if we don't? Like, what if this is just how it is, and I'm crazy about her, but all she does is lie to me?"

"Has she lied about anything else?"

"Well… No," I tell her. "I mean, not that I know of."

"I can understand the concern. But I also think people deserve a second chance. Whenever I've seen you two together, she seems crazy about you too. I think you should consider the possibility that this was a one-time mistake made out of fear of losing you. I'm not saying that's definitely what it is, and I'm not trying to defend her. I'm just trying to say… I'm trying to say that maybe she's not a horrible person just because she did this. It doesn't necessarily mean she's going to lie again."

I see her point. But I'm too angry to accept it, so I sigh and turn away, but she grabs my hand and pulls me back into her arms, squeezing me tightly.

"By the way," she starts. "I love you too."

Belle calls me several more times, but I don't call her back until the next day, when I've started to calm down. I don't listen to any of her voicemails. I'm still upset. Still feeling betrayed. But I'm willing to give her a chance, like Ruby said.

"Hey," I say into the phone.

"Emma!" she cries. "Thank God. I thought you were hurt. I thought-"

"I'm fine."

"Oh, Emma. I'm so glad you finally called."

"I called because I think you deserve a second chance."

"I'm so sorry, Em. Thank you so, so much." When I remain silent, she adds, "How can I make it up to you?"

"Come over."

"I'll be there in twenty."

She shows up looking stunning, and my heart stops. Sure, I'm still pissed, but I can't deny the way her hair bounces around her shoulders, and the way her lipstick shimmers in the lamplight.

"Wow," I breathe, unable to contain the word. "You look…"

"Yeah?" she asks, smiling. "I wanted to wear something nice for you."

The dress is loose, but it fits her perfectly, and although I can't see her cleavage with that neckline, the cut of the fabric accentuates her breasts. I try not to drool, but God, she's beautiful.

Slowly, I confess, "You look lovely."

I hate myself for saying it. I want to stay angry. I want to be mad and withdrawn and not give her what she wants. But I reason with myself that giving her a second chance involves being vulnerable and allowing myself to remain open to her. Worse case scenario, I give myself to her again, and she throws away that trust, leaving me with two equally shitty options: I leave my soul mate, or I stay with her in a relationship of pain and distrust.

She steps closer, touching my cheek, and asks, "Can I kiss you?"

I hesitate, then think of the conversation I had with Ruby the day before.  _Give her a second chance, Emma. Everyone deserves a second chance._ So I nod and lean in, letting her press her lips to mine. My heart flutters.

I don't break the kiss. In fact, I deepen it, my body responding faster than my mind can control it. It doesn't take long for us to find our way to the couch. She's kissing me harder, and I can tell she's eager to please, because she's far more careful than she usually is, and she makes me moan as her tongue slips past my lips. Again, I hate myself for giving in. At the same time, my body's going crazy, and I can't stop the rushing flood of thoughts about how much I want her. The ache in my core is growing.

"Do you want to-" Belle starts.

I interrupt her by nodding my head weakly, so she stops talking and kisses me again, her tongue hungrily finding mine. It feels good, the heat of her mouth. Soon, it's on my neck, and she's pulling my shirt off. We're undressed in what feels like and instant, and her naked body is pressed against mine.

"I love you," she says.

I don't know whether to say it back or not, but before I can make a rational decision, I feel her fingers push into me, and I moan, "I love you."

Then, she's fucking me, curling her fingers and making me cum, and I whimper loudly as the orgasm shakes me. I pleasure her next, and when she climaxes, she gasps like she's surprised, then cries out.

"Ah, fuck! Emma!"

She collapses on top of me as she finishes, and I hold her. The thoughts of her betrayal come rushing back as the sweat of our bodies makes us stick together.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't want to go to her place. I don't want to see Regina. Well, I do, but I know I'll probably sock her right in the face if I do, so I refuse when Belle asks if I want to come over. She stays over a few nights a week, and the others I spend hanging out with Ruby. I refuse to neglect her again.

The thoughts of Belle's secret continue to plague me, and it only makes my urge to go out and get high all the more intense.

I tell Ruby, and she sighs.

"I don't think it's a good idea. You've been clean for a while. I don't want to see you spiral out of control. You shouldn't get high to try to control your feelings. It doesn't work. You know that."

"Well, can't I at least try?" I whine.

She shakes her head and says, "No."

"Whatever. I'll go out by myself then."

I'm testing her. Testing to see if she'll try to stop me, or if she'll feel guilty and concerned and agree to come with me. I don't want to go alone. I want to go with her. I want her there with me when I'm tripping balls and out of my head.

"Fine. I'll go. But you're not-"

"Thanks, Rubes!"

Later, I tell Belle we're going out, and she sounds concerned. She knows I use drugs, but she hasn't seen me high since we met. I don't think she knows how badly I need it right now.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I tell her, kissing her cheek and leaving the park where we'd met up.

That night, I take way too much, before Ruby can stop me. She looks horrified when I nearly fall on my ass and stumble around the club. When I start to move towards the bar, she grabs my arm to stop me.

"No way, missy. You stay right here with me."

I protest, but she pulls me close by my hips, then turns around. Before I can protest further, she's grinding on me. I'm too delirious to stop her, and too delirious to keep my eyes open. I'm also too delirious to stop myself from grabbing her hips and pulling her back against me. I'm starting to get turned on, but eventually, I have the realization that this is Ruby grinding on me, not my soul mate, and that I need to stop before things get out of hand. But my inhibitions are low, and I just want to get off, so I turn her around roughly and look into her eyes.

"Ruby," I say, looking at her lustfully.

She sees it in my eyes and immediately pulls away, saying, "No. No, no, no. We're supposed to be having fun, not getting you in trouble and making you regret the entire night. This isn't happening."

I press myself against her and sigh, letting my head drop to her shoulder. Luckily, I make no other move, and she holds me for a few moments before gently leading me to the edge of the dance floor. We stand there for a while, until my head is clear enough to get in the car. She brings me home and tucks me into bed, and I feel a rush of affection for her, and once again, I'm so grateful to have her. Things could've gone south very quickly, but she stopped me and took care of me before I let it happen. I know she's an amazing friend, and as I fall asleep, I think about this, and my anxieties are calmed by this comfort, if only for a little while.

* * *

I find myself alternating between moods where all I want to do is fuck Belle's brains out and moods where my impulse is to avoid her. The sex isn't like it was before. It's angry. I think she likes it though, the way my hand leaves marks when it slaps her ass, so I don't really stop or let up at all. I let the rage pour out of me. I never say anything. I keep it inside. By physically, I let it out, and it's enough to pacify me for a short time. Then I need to get away from her again before I snap. We only sleep together at my place. I refuse to be around Regina, even though I know she's not really the problem.

One night, about a week after we sort of made up, I lose it. She texts me saying she'll be over in an hour. We'd planned it the previous day. We were going to meet up after dinner and do what we always do now: have angry, angry sex and fall asleep. I leave early in the morning so she wakes alone. But I'd forgotten. I'd gotten lost in my own rage and self-pity. And I'd started drinking early. I should have called Ruby instead, but I didn't. I just poured the liquor down my throat and attempted to let the burn make me forget. It doesn't work, and when I got the text from Belle, I panic. I'm not in any condition to see her. I'm a wreck. My hair's washed, but I'm in sweatpants and a tank top, and I look like I haven't slept in days. The panic's so intense that I'll do anything to ease it, so I rifle through my sock drawer to find the tablets that transport me to another world. I find them quickly and take one. I nearly drop the tablet, my hand's shaking so badly.

I know it's a bad idea. I know. Like I'm not already enough of a mess. But I'll be less embarrassed if I'm higher. I'll be able to forget most of the night, too. As soon as I down half a glass of water, I realize that I could have just told her I feel ill and that I couldn't see her tonight. Oops. Hadn't thought of that earlier.

Before I can blink, the room is spinning. Then, I'm getting off the couch to answer the door. I see the look on her face as she takes in my disheveled appearance, and my panic rises. The ecstasy isn't helping. In fact, it's just-

"Are you okay?" she asks, interrupting my thoughts. "What happened?"

"N-Nothing."

I'm not sure if I can stand much longer, so I go and sit down on the couch. She follows me, sitting beside me, and tries to look into my eyes. I look away intentionally, but she turns my chin until I'm looking right at her.

"You sure you're alright?"

I nod, and the next thing I know, I'm shoving my tongue down her throat. Anything to get her to shut up. Anything to distract myself from thinking about her fucking her best friend. At first, she resists and tries to pull away, but my hands are on her breasts, and I know where to touch her to get a response. Soon, we're in my bed. I don't know how I got to my bedroom without falling, but I did. I'm drunk and high and angry, and I'll do anything to get out of my own head, so I start taking off her clothes. She thinks I'm just eager, and I'm pretty sure that's turning her on. Maybe she thinks I've fully forgiven her. Either way, by the time I get her panties off and throw them to the side, I know she's ready for me, because when I dip my fingers into her, she's already  _soaked._ I'm not. I'm not horny; I'm angry. I'm angry at life for being unfair. I'm angry at the universe for giving me a soul mate who keeps relationship-changing information from me. I gave her a second chance, but I don't trust her. I should probably just get over it. Jesus Christ. I'm sure she would have told me eventually. But for some reason, I'm still so fucking  _angry_ that she let me fuck her in the room right next to the woman she used to sleep with. It's unreal to me.

So I shove her down onto her stomach and slap her ass, saying nothing. She gasps. I watch red handprints appear on her pale white skin for a while, until I'm starting to get bored. I need more, but the room is spinning, and I'm having a hard time staying upright, so I roll and lay down beside her, then pull her on top of me. She connects our mouths in a kiss and hungrily tastes my tongue. Obviously, she knows I'm drunk. I wonder if she can tell how fucking high I am. I need to cum. Need a distraction, before I slap her in the face. I'd never want to really hurt her, so I grab her hand and put it between my legs. Luckily, she stops kissing me and takes the hint, plunging her fingers into me. I let out a heavy sigh of relief as the stimulation finally takes my mind off my anger. It feels good.

Too good.

I start to unravel, and then something horrible happens. I shut my eyes. As soon as I do, I see it. I see her on top of Regina. I see them both crying out and cumming together.  _I know what she sounds like when she moans,_ Regina had told me. I can't get the words out of my head. I can't get the image out of my head either. But my body's reacting faster than my mind, and I climax, seeing Regina's face contorted with pleasure behind my eyelids.

By the time my heart slows nearly to a stop, I'm disgusted and shaking with rage. Belle probably thinks the orgasm was so good that my body's still reacting. But it wasn't. It was mediocre at best. Barely enough to satisfy my lust, even.

"I need you to go," I blurt out, when I see her mouth open to ask me what's wrong.

I'm significantly soberer now than I was when she got here, and all I want is to be left alone.

"I can't do this."

She doesn't protest or ask why. She just leaves.

Thank God.

Except, the next morning, her cell phone is sitting on my nightstand.

"Fuck!" I scream.

The plan, upon falling asleep, had been to never speak to her again. Apparently – unless I involved Ruby – that wasn't an option anymore. I had to bring the phone back, or she had to come get it. I'd just as soon get it over with than have to wait for her to show up, so I shower and get dressed and leave the house in a hurry. When I arrive at her apartment, to my horror, it's Regina who answers the door.

"Hey. I-" she starts. "Wow. Shit. Are you okay?"

I look like dogshit. I know. But I'm in no mood to talk, so I remain sour and businesslike.

"Where's Belle?"

"She went to work. It's Friday?"

"Oh. Right. Here's her-"

I start to hand Regina the cell phone, but she takes a step back and says something I never thought I'd hear her say.

"Come in."

A little bewildered, I step inside. I'm not really sure why I'm doing it, but there I am, in the living room, waiting for Regina to tell me why the hell she just invited me inside.

"I heard what happened," she explains. "I'm sorry."

Who the fuck is this girl? What the fuck?

"No, really," she continues, when she sees the skepticism on my face. She knows I don't believe her, so she continues, "I am sorry. Look, I know what it's like to be cheated on and lied to. Back when we were sleeping together and I found out she had a thing with one of our neighbors, I-"

"What?"

I'm dumbfounded. Belle cheated on Regina?

"I mean, we never said we'd be exclusive or anything. What's the point in that, if we're not soul mates, you know? But it still hurt. And I didn't find out until like a month later that they'd been sleeping together the whole time."

"What the  _fuck,_ " I gape, in total disbelief.

"I would have told you if she hadn't walked in on us that day. I'm sorry." I start to turn red in the face, and she can obviously sense that I'm quickly growing furious, so she backpedals, saying, "She's really a good person, Emma. She just… She doesn't… really…  _share_ things… about herself. You know?"

"I do now, yeah."

"I wanted to tell you sooner. I just. I don't know. You were just so… annoying."

I scowl at her.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're annoying. I don't know how else to say it."

"You're a major bitch, you know that?"

She laughs. She actually  _laughs._ I can't fucking believe it. What a psycho.

"You're a sociopath too, apparently," I grumble, starting to make my way to the door.

She grabs my arm to stop me, though, and turns me around.

"Hey. Maybe you should have a drink."

I laugh. If only she knew.

"Oh. Sorry."

Apparently, my laughter said it all.

"It's fine. I should go."

"Why don't you sit for a while? She won't be home until late tonight. She's got a meeting after work with some guy. I dunno. Anyway, it's probably not good for you to be alone right now."

"What the fuck do you care?"

"Like I said, I've been there. I know what it's like."

"So why are you still friends with her?"

"I don't know. I guess I have more to lose in giving her up than I have to gain."

"What do you mean?"

"She knows everything about me. Everything. She's my best friend."

"Some fucking friend."

She bites her lip. I'm surprised at how suddenly insecure she looks. She's like a completely different person. It doesn't make sense, but I'm grateful. The last thing I need is to deal with her bullshit.

"Just sit down. I'll make you dinner, okay? You look like you need to eat."

I blink a few times and almost involuntarily find myself on the couch.

It's weird, but we eat dinner together in front of the television, not saying much for a while. I'm actually starting to relax when she finally speaks.

"God, this show is stupid," she laughs.

I nod and laugh too.

"Can't help but love it, though."

"I hate stupid humor."

"Then why are you smiling?"

She rolls her eyes at me, telling me to shut up without using words, so I laugh harder.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

For some reason, I can't stop laughing. The irony is so painful that my gut hurts. Here I am, sitting with the one person on Earth that I can't stand, who is being almost as nice to me as my own best friend.

"Everything," I answer her, when I'm finally able to stop laughing.

I'm still smiling, though, and I can tell she thinks I'm crazy. But here we are. And to my surprise, she starts laughing. This time, she's laughing at me. Oddly, it's intoxicating. I find myself loving the sound of her laugh and enjoying the fact that it's me who elicited the sound.


	5. Chapter 5

I get a call at seven in the morning from a number I don't know, but I answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's Regina."

"Um… Hi."

"I just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay."

"What the fuck? It's seven in the fucking morning."

"Were you asleep? God, you're a bum. Get your lazy ass out of bed and do something with your life."

I roll my eyes. There's the Regina I know and hate. So obnoxious.

"How'd you even get my number?"

"I got it from her phone, idiot. Obviously."

"Creepy."

"Whatever."

"Anyway. I'm fine," I tell her. I pause, then add, "Thank you."

"Do you, uh… Do you want me to come over?"

"Sorry?"

"Like I said yesterday, it's a really bad idea for you to be alone right now."

"I have friends, you know."

"You have one friend, and she's an idiot."

That I won't tolerate, so I snap and say, "Shut the fuck up. Ruby's perfect."

"Wow. Touchy. Got some pent-up feelings for your bestie, huh?"

"Shut the fuck up. It's not like that."

"Alright," Regina says. She pauses again, then asks, "So… Do you want me to come over?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Fine. Whatever."

Why did I just agree to that? I could have just called Ruby. But something about Regina's interest in me spikes my own interest in her. She's definitely weird, and she's definitely a bitch, but she's interesting.

She shows up twenty minutes later. It's too early for company, but I'm awake and dressed anyway.

We end up watching some stupid show on television for a while before I get up to make breakfast. She won't eat anything, but I'm starving, so I make pancakes. I hold a glass of orange juice out to her, though, and she does take that.

Then, I notice something strange. Her arms are bare. There's no clock.

"Um…" I start, staring.

"What?" she asks, looking confused. "Did I spill something?"

"You, uh… I didn't know you had a soul mate. Why do you live with Belle?"

She blinks a few times before answering me.

"I don't," she says plainly.

Obviously, I don't understand, so I tilt my head slightly and say, "What?"

Then, it hits me that if her clock is gone, but she says she doesn't have a soul mate, they must be… well. Maybe what happened to me and Belle happened to her too. Or maybe her soul mate passed away. It's weird, though, and I'm interested, so I keep my eyes focused on hers as I wait for her answer.

"I don't know. The clock just… stopped. But I didn't meet anyone. It was weird. But whatever. I don't need one. I can get laid without one, thanks, and that's all I need."

She smiles, but I can tell that it's forced. Then, she looks down at my wrists.

"Wait… You don't have a clock anymore either?"

"What do you mean? Of course I don't."

"What?"

Now, I'm confused.

"Belle?"

"Wait. You're telling me that your clock stopped the night you met Belle?"

"Well, duh. Why else would I-"

"Fuck."

"What?"

"So did mine."

I don't get it.

"Huh?"

"My clock stopped when you two met."

"No… fucking… way."

"Yes way. I just thought… I don't know. I thought mine was just defective. Because it sure as hell wasn't the bartender I was talking to two seconds before I turned around and you spilled a drink on me. And it sure as hell wasn't…"

"What? It wasn't what?"

"Fuck."

" _What?"_ I snap.

I'm getting tired of her holding back what she's thinking.

"I don't think you're Belle's soul mate, Emma." After a long pause, Regina added, "I think you're mine."

We sit there staring at each other for what feels like forever. I can't believe this is happening. I want to get high. I want to run out of the room and scream. There's no fucking way. How could that be possible? How could Belle's clock and my clock run out at the same time and yet-

Then Regina clears things up for me by saying, "Belle's soul mate died two years ago."

So her clock didn't run out with mine. It ran out  _before_ mine. But that would mean…

"But you're…" I start, then can't finish the thought.

I don't really know what to say. She's such a fucking bitch. And she hates me. So how could… How could this be happening?

My urge to use is spiking by the minute. My mouth is dry as I look anywhere but in her eyes, until she lifts my chin and makes me look at her.

"I know you hate me. And that's okay. If you want to ignore this and just move on with your life like it never happened, that's okay. I understand. I'm not exactly easy to be around. But for the record, I'm glad that I at least know now. I know I'm not defective or anything. At least… my clock's not."

"I don't… I don't  _hate_ you."

"Sure, you do. You wanted to kill me there for a little bit."

"Yeah. Because you slept with my soul mate and taunted me about it!"

"I'm sorry. I'm an angry person, okay? I can't help it. I just…"

My expression softens. I understand. I'd never really gotten it before Belle, but after everything happened, I just became so fucking angry. I could understand where all her rage was coming from.

"I don't hate you," I repeat, this time allowing myself to look into her eyes.

"So… What do you want to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what do you want to do about this?"

I pause.

"I… I don't know."

"There's not much to like about me. Lots of people are happy without soul mates, you know. Some people-"

"Wait. What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you trying to make me feel better about rejecting you when I haven't even done that?"

"Well, I don't know. Because you obviously aren't… I mean… We just don't… get along…"

After a moment, I reply, "Maybe we could."

Things go slow at first. We just talk. But I'm open to the idea of a soul mate, especially after having my heart broken. Maybe that's counterintuitive, but for me… I just feel the need to have that hole filled. And somehow… Regina fills it. Just her presence fills it. The more we spend time getting to know each other, the more I think that just knowing her is enough. I nearly forget about Belle, and the urge to use fades quickly.

When I tell Ruby, she bursts out laughing. She thinks I'm kidding.

"I'm serious."

"Oh, my God. What?"

"Yeah. Her soul mate passed away. Her clock ended way before she ever met me. I guess she just assumed I'd know that or something."

"Jesus Christ. Regina Fucking Mills. Man, you hit the lottery with that one, didn't ya? At least her body is absolutely stunning."

"You're hilarious, Ruby," I grumble.

She pauses, then asks, "So how do you feel about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you two like… getting along?"

"Actually, Ruby… Yeah. We are."

"Wow. How'd that happen?"

"Well, it started before we figured it out. She called to ask if I was okay after she found out that I basically told Belle to get the fuck out."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And then she came over to keep me company, and we just… got to talking. And now… it's so natural. I feel like I can tell her things and not get judged for it, you know? It's like being with you, except…"

"Except what?"

"Except it feels… I don't know. I mean, it's like… Every time she laughs, my insides just…"

Ruby's eyes widen.

"Oh, shit, girl. You got it  _bad._ When you start talking about a girl's laugh, you know it's all over from there."

"Oh, shut up. I do not. Look, we're just taking things slow, and-"

"So when's the wedding for the happy couple?"

"Shut up, Ruby! We're not even really a couple. We're just trying to figure things out."

"Yeah? And how's that goin' in bed? She's got a rockin' body, man. I bet she's a great ride."

"Oh, my God, Ruby! Stop!"

I hate it, but I'm blushing.

"Oooooh, honey, your cheeks are  _red!_ "

I also hate that she's laughing at me. It's infuriating. But she knows me so well. She can't help herself, really. I cover my face with a pillow until my face returns to a normal color.

"Oh, my God. Wait. You haven't slept with her, have you?" she finally asks.

"No. Of course not! We just started-"

"Hey, you slept with Belle like… immediately, so…"

"Shut up, Ruby."

"Sorry."

At first, I'm pissed about the comment, but then I laugh, knowing it's true.

Then, I say, "I don't know. Maybe I care more this time around."

The next time I see Regina, we meet at a restaurant downtown. It's upscale and formal, and I feel silly, but as soon as she sits down with me at the table, I relax. Something about her sarcasm and wit makes me comfortable.

I try to listen to her words – I am captivated by them – but I'm continuously drawn to her appearance. She looks stunning. More so than usual, which is saying something.

"What?" she finally asks me, noticing my stare.

"You look… You look beautiful."

"I bet you say that to all the ladies," she jokes.

I sigh, thinking of Belle's beauty. Something is different about Regina, though. She's just so… regal. Radiant, really.

After the meal, we sit in her car. I'm not sure what to say, or what I'm thinking. I'm not even sure what I'm  _feeling._ I just know I can't stop staring at her lips.

"You're staring," she points out bluntly, and I blush. "It's okay. Just tell me why."

"Your lips."

"What about them?"

"They're perfect."

I'm grateful not to have to be the one who makes the first move when she leans in and kisses me. The rush is so intense that my stomach flips. It's not gentle. It's passionate. And it's setting fire to my insides. She asks me if she can go to my place, and I nod.

As soon as we're in the door, she breathes my name between hurried kisses.

I melt at the way she says my name.

Then, we're sitting on the couch, and her fingers are tangled in my hair. She tugs gently and drops her lips to my neck, and I moan.

"I like that," she says darkly, biting down. "That sound."

I want to deny that I made the noise at all, but I don't. I'm too caught up in her touch. Her hands are moving all over my body now, and before I know it, I'm unbuttoning my blouse.

"Wait," she says suddenly. "Are you sure?"

I nod. I'm ready to take the chance. And that's all the permission she needs to shift gears. She pulls me off the couch and tugs me down the hall into the bedroom, where she shoves me down on the bed and crawls on top of me.

Then, we're naked, and her hips are pressed into mine. I can feel the heat of her skin setting mine on fire, and when she bites down on my neck again, I moan.

"I'm gonna make you do that that all night long," she tells me.

I believe her.

My palms start to sweat. So does every other part of my body, I quickly realize. Her eyes are ablaze with passion as she continues to kiss me hungrily, and soon, she's rubbing my nipples with her thumbs, and they're getting hard beneath her touch. I'm whimpering as I press my hands into her lower back to push her body closer to mine. The heat feels good, and it races through me like a jolt of lightning.

And she's right. I spend the rest of the night moaning in her ear.


	6. Chapter 6

I wake up thinking,  _Shit. I thought I was going to take it slow. Fuck!_

But she wakes up right after me, and I quickly realize that her arm is draped over my torso, and her hand is covering one of my breasts. My stomach flips. Feeling her touch makes my body warm again, and as I think about the night before, it gets worse. Feeling her weight shift slightly as she rolls a little closer and presses against my side, I blush.

"Emma," she whispers.

I shiver.

"Yes?"

"You're warm."

I know this, and I'm embarrassed. Does she know I'm blushing? No. Her eyes are still closed.

"Yeah. It's hot in here," I lie.

Regina catches it immediately.

"You're so full of shit," she chuckles, surprising me and making me jolt a little as she gently pinches my nipple.

"Hey!" I cry, starting to sit up. "I'm-"

"Shh," she mumbles. "No yelling."

"I'm not full of shit," I grumble.

But I know I am, and so does she. But I won't admit my embarrassment. I won't admit my insecurity. I start to wonder if last night was even good for her, but the way she curls against me reassures me that it was at least tolerable. She'd be gone if it wasn't, right?

"Mhmm. Okay. Just hush. It's too early for this."

"But I-"

"Emma."

The sound of my name on her lips is too much. I relax back against the pillows and shut my eyes. When I feel her body shift and her head rest against my breast as her hand slides down to my abdomen, my body grows warm again.

I know she feels my muscles tensing, because she says, "What is it?"

"N-Nothing."

I'm stuttering, and it's making me feel even more vulnerable. I open my eyes. How stupid must I be to be having this kind of a reaction to the simplest touch? Her thumb rubs my hip, and I shiver again.

This time, she feels it, and I can hear her smile when she tells me, "It's okay."

"I'm sorry," I mutter. "I-"

Slowly, saying nothing, she rolls on top of me, carefully pressing her hips into mine as she looks down into my eyes.

"It's okay, Em. I want it too."

My cheeks turn bright red when she says this, and even though I'm ashamed of my own sensitive arousal, I can't tear my gaze away. I've fallen deep into her eyes, and I can't escape, no matter how hard I try. She captivates me. When I open my mouth to speak, nothing comes out. No protest, no invitation… Nothing. The words are peanut butter, stuck fast in my throat.

Then, she lifts my legs, her hands under my thighs, rocks her hips forward, and presses our bodies closer together. Of course, the whimper that escapes my lips makes me ashamed, but my eyes fall closed anyway as the friction between us intensifies with her next movement. I wanted to ask her if last night was okay, but clearly, she's thinking what I'm thinking and wants more too.

When she pulls away slightly and dips her fingers into my folds, coating them with my arousal, I whimper again, at a higher pitch, betraying my desperation and desire.

She brings her fingers to her lips and sucks the slickness from them, then smiles as she slowly pulls them out of her mouth.

"Mmm," she coos. "You taste like honey."

I bite my lip, not knowing what to say, but dying for her to touch me again. Instead of stimulating me between my legs, though, she dips her head down and sucks my left nipple into her mouth and bites down, then tugs on it with her teeth. My back arches in reply.

"Regina," I moan, finally able to form words, but incapable of expressing a complete thought.

All I know is I want more.

"Yes, love?" she asks softly, stroking my hair away with one hand as she pinches my right nipple with the other.

The way she tends to every inch of my body is electrifying, and it surprises me. The sex with Belle was always short and to the point. It was about the end, for both of us. This? This is different. When she slides her hands over my sides, then drags her nails down my ribs all the way to my hips, I moan again. Then, she slides her hands over my thighs and drags her nails down them as well. How can she pay attention to all of me at once? How is it possible for her to control my every move, every emotion, every sensation, every sound?

It's too much, and just when I feel I'm about to black out from every little touch and the intensity my body's responses to her, I feel her fingers rubbing me between my folds, from the front to the back, barely touching my clit, teasing me and making my longing more agonizing.

"Regina," I say again.

This time, I'm begging, and she knows it. I can tell, because she repeats the movement, once again barely stimulating my clit as she coats her fingers with my arousal again. She puts her fingers in her mouth, then licks her lips once she removes them, and I think I might cum just from watching the scene play out. Even without her touch… Even just hearing her taunt me, watching her tease me… It's better than porn. Not only is it real and right in front of my eyes, but it's more sensual and more intense.

"You taste so good," she finally tells me. "Should I eat you out and curb my appetite?"

When I moan, "Oh, God," she smiles at my lack of control.

I can tell she loves the power she has over me. That's just who she is. And for once, I appreciate that side of her. I'm grateful for her taking charge. Over me… Over my body.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Regina asks me softly, her tone playful and flirtatious. "You like the sound of that?"

I do. But I'm dying to be filled. Dying to feel her inside me. I want to tell her, but the words won't come out. Again, I'm embarrassed of my own desires and the longings that make me so incredibly weak. I know in this moment that she owns me.

"Emma," she whispers in my ear, then licks my neck. "Do you want my tongue sucking your clit?"

She drags her nails down my front and smirks as my back arches again.

At last, I gather the courage to tell her what I really want.

"Need you inside me," I confess breathlessly, as her thumbs press into my hips.

"Oh," she says brightly, smiling at her triumph. "I think that can be arranged."

But her next move is even more agonizing. Once again, she teases my clit, for the briefest moment, and pulls away. She doesn't suck my fluids from her fingers. Instead, she presses her fingers to my lips.  _Oh, God. Can I even do this?_ I'm thinking. I don't want to look stupid. But I'm not going to refuse her. I can't. Not now. Not when I'm so desperate to give her what she wants.

I lick my lips and suck her fingers into my mouth, tasting my own arousal on my tongue. I'm not really tasting the honey thing, but I ignore that and release her two fingers slowly, smiling slightly as she pulls her hand away.

Regina coos, "Good girl," making my whole body scream.

I'm hers, completely.

Again, she drags her nails down my front, then dips her fingers between my folds. This time, she rubs my clit, lightly, but not pulling away. My hips lift, involuntarily responding to her professional touch, and that's when her fingers slide down and slip into me.

"Fuck," I whine as her fingers start to fill me.

When she's finally knuckle-deep inside me, I moan again. But thankfully, she doesn't stop there. She curls her fingers, making me cry out. It's too intense. Too good. Too much.  _I can't. I can't._

To my surprise, unlike the night before, her touch is somewhat tender, and her movements are more careful. The lifting of my hips matches the calculated curling of her fingers as she strokes the inside of my walls.

"That's it, baby," she purrs. "I want you to cum."

My mind is reeling, and when she says this, my thighs start to shake. I try to stop it, but it happens too fast, and I do cum, right then, without hesitation or pause.

Regina breathes, "God, yes," as my walls clench hard around her thrusting fingers, which are now moving in and out of me. "Keep cumming, baby."

And I do. I cum so hard I cry out, and the waves keep coming as she refuses to cease her thrusting. She wants it to last, but I'm feeling the contracting of my walls start to slow as my body begins to relax against the mattress. She's not having this, though. To my surprise, her fingers curl again, and she strokes my walls with force, over and over again, bringing me back to the edge.

"Fuck. Fuck. Regina-"

"Cum for me," she orders.

I feel like I can't, but I'm so close. I'm stuck at the edge, my body exhausted from the first orgasm. But then it crashes over me and I'm cumming again for her, shaking harder than the first time.

"That's it, baby. Come on."

Her encouragement is intoxicating, and it keeps me cumming hard. I can tell she's loving it, because she's smiling proudly as she finally removes her fingers from my core as my muscles start to relax.

"Good girl," Regina whispers, once again stroking my hair away from my face. Then, she surprises me again, saying, "You're so perfect."

Sweat beading on my forehead, I look up into her eyes, not knowing what to say.

She senses that I'm uncomfortable with her statement and leans in, kissing my lips softly as she cups my face in her hands.

As she pulls away, she asks, "Was that okay?"

My eyes widen. Is she seriously asking me that? As if it wasn't obvious enough by my cries of pleasure and the thrashing of my body as she fucked me. I can't speak, so I nod.

"You should let me eat you instead of breakfast," Regina tells me.

I blush and shake my head, knowing that my body is unable to reach that peak again so soon. This makes her laugh, and she kisses me again. God, I love the sound of her laugh. I kiss her back slowly, savoring the taste. I want it to last forever.

"Are you okay?" she asks, when she pulls away again.

I nod once more, and she smiles at me. I adore the way her lips curl when she smiles. I can't get enough of it, and I realize then that I want to see this smile every day for the rest of my life. But I don't want to tell her this. I don't want her to know. Not yet. So I stay quiet and let her relax against me, her head resting on my breast again as we fall back to sleep.

* * *

 

"So, you really hated me, huh?" I ask Regina later, over breakfast.

"Pardon?"

"Like, when you met me."

"Oh. Yes, of course. You dumped booze on my best dress."

"Yeah, but… Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I did," I laugh, pushing a nervous hand through my hair. "I'm a klutz, okay? I'm sorry."

"It's alright, dear," Regina assures me with a smile, touching my hand. "We can't all be graceful."

She's just teasing me, but I'm genuinely embarrassed.

"You alright, darlin'?" she asks me, seeing the sudden discomfort in my expression. I nod, but she can tell I'm not being honest – how can she always tell? – so she presses, "Come on, now, love. What's the matter?"

"N-Nothing, I just…"

"Emma?"

"I just feel… unworthy."

"What?" she gapes, squeezing my hand. "Emma, what do you mean?"

Sighing and hanging my head, I reply, "You're so… radiant, and elegant. And I'm so… lame."

"You are  _not_ lame, Emma. You are a wonderful, beautiful woman, inside and out. Yes, you're a klutz. Yes, there are times I absolutely  _have_ to laugh at you. But there is no one who has ever made my heart glow like you do…"

When she trails off, voice softened, I lift my gaze to meet hers. She's serious. Unlike all the other people in my life who have lied or patronized me to make me feel better in times of distress, Regina is honest.

This trait makes me love her even more, and I can't hold back the urge to throw my arms around her to pull her into a tight embrace. The smile spreading across my lips, broad and enthusiastic, almost makes my cheeks hurt, and she smiles back as soon as she sees it. She returns the embrace and holds me there, allowing me to be the one to pull away first. It takes several moments before the swell of my heart subsides and I'm able to let go, but once I do, she catches my lips.

"I love you, Emma," she tells me, making me blush again.

I'm so comforted by her words and her display of affection towards me that tears start to well in my eyes.

Seeing them, Regina gasps, "Oh, honey, don't cry! It's alright. I'm right here."

Even though I am crying, my smile doesn't fade. She looks worried at first, but when she sees that I'm still smiling, she smiles again and squeezes my hand once more.

"You're wonderful, Em," she tells me. "Really and truly."

"Even though I'm annoying? And gross? And a slob when I eat?"

Regina bursts out laughing at this, the sound loud and bright, and I grin at her as she nods her head.

"Absolutely."

"And you'll love me no matter what?"

"No matter what, my dear. No matter what."


End file.
